Number 20

     I’m standing already
     I didn’t see you coming
Do you want me here?
     What am I now?
Can I hold your hand?
     Please go, bring your affections with you
     I don’t need any
Are you angry?
     It is my face, it can’t wrinkle in a smile
     Why does it hurt
I brought you chocolate
I brought you an addiction that doesn’t bleed
     I am sick and tired of compassion
     Please wake me up
Do you think you are the only one?
Don’t you think I’ve thought about it too?
     I didn’t consider the now
     Now that it all returns back to me
I mean I’d never, I guess
Did you mean it?
     How fun
     It’s sunny today
Please let me believe you were asking for help
     It feels warm on the tip of my nose
I would have come anyways
     And it is November
I would have swiped your troubles away
     I thought it was winter already
I would have at least tried to
     Those flowers next to my bed
     Have no roots
Try to let me in
     You are not my family
Yes! Look at me
     I feel cold now
Don’t ignore me
     Get me the blanket
Why did you give up
     Those blank spaces
Take, you are shivering
I still need to fill
It is never too late
To be happy again
     With more chapters of a life
     I am afraid to continue


Empyreal – sublime

She woke up first. He did at his phone’s alarm 10 minutes later. They both kept huddling under the duvet. Thirty minutes more. One hour. Three hours. The world outside was unremarkable – and rainy. They projected on the steep ceiling above their bed the best of the possible futures.

Kibosh – something that serves as a check or a stop

She looked around her. The wooden pilasters were so high she could barely see where they ended. She squeezed her hand in between two of them. But the distance was so narrow she could barely get until her forearm. She shook them. Nothing. Solid as concrete. She started screaming and crying, hoping that her voice could reach beyond that cage.

Footsteps from the corridor. Relaxed as if she was not living a state of danger. She started screaming harder to capture the whoever was that person’s attention. A woman came into the room.

Hands! Hands that grabbed and lifted her up.

“Shh shh…what’s going on love? Don’t you like your new bed?”

Her mom started cradling her while the little daughter still flooded her cheeks with tears.